


And Time's Forever Frozen Still

by forthemoon



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: And angst, Christmas fic, Cliche ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 12:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2811827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forthemoon/pseuds/forthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You gave me the perfect Christmas, so I'm here to give you your perfect romantic airport scene.” Niall says </p><p>“Let me hear it.”<br/>--<br/>For the prompt: Niall and Harry have been dating for a year now. They’ve gone through Uni together; but while Niall is planning on staying at home to figure out what he wants to do next, Harry is moving away to LA. Niall isn’t sure how he’s supposed to handle this, but Harry’s going to make sure that their last Christmas together for a long while will be the best one ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Time's Forever Frozen Still

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PigSlay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PigSlay/gifts).



> First of a special thanks to Nicole, who looked over this for me, I sort of just threw this at her and asked her to correct all the errors (there were a lot!). Thanks babe! Also a huge thanks to, PigSly for the amazing prompt I really hope you like it! Title taken from Photograph by Ed Sheeran.

X

If you knew Harry well enough, even if you just spoke to him for a day, you’d know how big his love for LA was. It took two visits to the sunshine state for Harry to be completely enamored.

“Everyone is just so nice and laid back Ni, it’s like everyone there is on holiday.” Harry would tell him with wide green eyes and a bright smile that probably rivaled the sun’s rays. “And it’s always so sunny and warm.” Harry would go on and on about LA as Niall laid small kisses on his sun kissed skin while both boys laid on Harry’s couch with the telly on low, and the sounds of the London rain gently hitting the streets outside the window.

Harry loved LA so much, that it really shouldn’t have surprised Niall when he announced that he was thinking of permanently moving there.

They were both in their last year of Uni, and Harry had already been offered a job in a field he wanted. He would be working as an editor for one of the biggest publishing houses in the U.S. The U.S meaning LA.

It seemed like all of Niall’s friends knew what they’d be doing once the year was over. They all had proper job offers. The only plans Niall had were to maybe visit his home in Ireland, possibly go back and see his family, check up on his ma and pa and catch up with his brother and nephew.

He felt like a failure if he was being honest. He now had a degree in journalism, but nothing to do with it.

No matter how down Niall felt about all of it though, he still managed to feel happy for Harry. Harry, his boyfriend, who was finally catching his big break. He still remembered how happy Harry had been when talking to him over the phone. For once Harry had been retelling the story so fast that Niall had to concentrate extra hard to catch everything. There were no pauses or unnecessary “ums”.

“But then you’d be all the way in LA and I’d be here in London.” Niall remembered saying after Harry had finally stopped to take a breath. His voice had sounded so quiet and small to his own ears. Niall never did anything quiet. “How many miles is that exactly?”

The other end had gone silent. They both knew that yeah this was everything Harry had wanted, but he couldn’t have everything, because sometimes life didn’t work that way. You had to give up things sometimes no matter how hard it was, and this thing seemed to be Niall.

It crushed both of them. But Niall loved Harry. So he made sure when he spoke again that his voice sounded sure and steady, even if his heart was loudly pounding in his chest, and God he already missed the other boy.

“Take the job Haz.”

“Ni-“

“It’ll give me a reason to finally visit LA.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Do what? Visit LA?”

“Yeah, I just know how much you hate the sun. Always complain how easily you burn, and let’s not talk about how cranky you get when you spend more than three hours under it.” Harry joked. Niall had smiled, but then again he had also felt his heart withering away into tiny shreds.

“Yeah well I’d sacrifice my perfect pale skin to see you, you tosser. So I better get an amazing Christmas present for being such a caring boyfriend.” Niall had waited for Harry’s snarky remark. It never came. A silent pause had hung over them once more and Niall couldn’t help but take the tip of his finger nail into his mouth. A nervous (and gross, Louis would say) habit he had acquired over the years. He had felt nervous though, he didn’t know how to deal with this and he had been afraid that maybe he had said something wrong.

“Ni, I’m going to make this Christmas the best Christmas we’ve ever shared together.”

“Harry…” Niall’s voice had been trembling, he couldn’t even finish his sentence because he was too afraid of opening his mouth and vomiting his true feelings out. He imagined it would have been something along the lines of him pleading Harry to stay. To stay with Niall forever. He couldn’t do that to him though. What kind of arse hole would he be if he kept Harry here with him? Harry had to go to LA and begin the start of what would probably be an amazing life.

“Yeah, okay.” Niall finally managed to get out.

X

“That is a pitiful tree Harry.”

“Oh fuck of Lou, I don’t see the tree you bought anywhere. So I guess you’re just going to have to deal with my pitiful tree.” Harry retaliates. Louis gives him a small eye roll before dropping the bags from the market he had been carrying.

Harry finally finishes placing the last ornament on the tree’s stem. He walks back a few steps to examine his work. He doesn't think his tree was pitiful, it's no Charlie Brown tree and it's all he could afford on his Uni student budget.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to go all out with this festive stuff Haz.” Louis says as he holds up some red tinsel from a box of the Styles' old ornament and Christmas décor that his mum had gladly shipped out to him upon his request.

“Of course I am.” Harry says with a pleased grin. When Harry said he’d make this the best Christmas for him and Niall he meant it. Every detail had to be perfect.

Louis grumbles unintelligible all the way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea before hollering, “Christmas is just a trap to get consumer’s to buy unnecessary things and be unnecessarily jolly!”

That gets a laugh out of Harry that almost makes him topple over his finished tree. He’s a giant compared to his five and a half foot tree.

“Is someone just bitter because their birthday falls a day before Christmas so he’s been forced to accept one gift for both his birthday and Christmas for the past twenty-four years?”

“Oh fuck off!” Louis calls out before making his way out of the kitchen only to stare Harry down with a death glare, “and don’t think you’re getting away with that this year. I expect two presents!”

Harry doesn’t say anything. He just shakes his head with a smile as he focuses on untangling the array of Christmas lights in his hands. Louis can have two presents this year if he wants. It’s the least Harry could do what with him leaving his best friend/roommate behind and forcing him to pay full rent after he’s gone. Not to mention he’s going to miss him, like loads.

“Hey, so when are you heading back home?” Harry says distractingly, still putting his all into untangling the lights.

“I am home.”

Harry rolls his eyes, something rare for him, but he thinks it’s rubbed off on him from either Louis or Niall. “You know what I mean you sap.”

“I’m leaving next Tuesday. Why?”

“I just need your help on something before you leave” Harry ponders for another second before adding, “I’m actually going to need Liam and Zayn’s help as well.”

“Yeah okay. As long as it doesn’t involve me in green tights and an elf hat again, then we’re good.”

Harry snorts at the memories of last Christmas and how he had gotten all of them to volunteer as Santa’s elves for a toy drive held for kids in need. It had been all in good faith, but also because he thought the boys dressed as elves would be hilarious.

It was.

“No, not this year.” Harry replies. “Although you have to admit I was rocking those green tights. I’ve got great legs.”

“Is that what Niall told you?”

Harry smirks at that before his face falls into a frown, “We need new lights!” he exclaims, throwing the heap of tangled lights on the floor.

X

Harry has never been as determined for anything else in his life as he is for this (okay yeah getting through those years of Uni took some determination on his part but this-this was different). He’s stayed up long nights just thinking about Niall’s and his’ Last Christmas together. He’s gone over plans in his head and has even began to plot it down on paper.

“We’re not saying it’s a bad idea-“Liam starts.

“But we’re also not saying it’s good, yeah?” Zayn finishes in that smooth accent of his. And honestly Harry hates how they’ve started to finish each other’s sentences.

Harry had asked all three of his best mates, Zayn, Liam, and Louis for help. He needed inspiration, he needed someone to bounce ideas off of.

He’s starting to come to the conclusion that he might have not chosen the right team for it though. Zayn and Liam aren’t agreeing on anything he’s come up with and Louis- well he’s not even paying attention to Harry, he’s been immersed in a game of FIFA 2015 for the past twenty minutes.

Harry lets out a loud frustrated sigh as he dramatically falls back on the chair he’s sat on.

“You’re thinking too hard mate. Niall appreciates the simple stuff. Simple Christmas dinner, make it proper romantic, and maybe take him out ice skating before the special day.” Liam shrugs. Zayn nods in agreement looking at Liam like he’s just said something inspiring.

“Yeah, you two could cuddle near the fire place after dinner with hot chocolate as you pour your heart out to him.” Zayn adds.

Harry actually ponders over what both of them have just said, they aren’t bad ideas. And Liam is right, Niall’s never been the one for fancy eccentric stuff. His thoughts are interrupted by a snort from the other side of the room. Louis pauses the game before finally, _finally_ , giving Harry his attention, “it’s your last Christmas with Niall. You promised him it be the best and you’re thinking of taking advice from the most boring couple-“

“Heeeeey!” Liam and Zayn both say in unison. Louis ignores them and continues.

“You need to think of something big. Something memorable! Like a scavenger hunt!” Louis lights up much like Harry’s Christmas lights had once he’d bought new ones and bordered them around the windows in their flat.

“A scavenger hunt?” Harry says, more to himself, letting the thought process in his mind. Because, yeah okay, it sounds like something fun and creative.

“Yeah you could take him around the town, have small dates waiting after each clue. Or presents!” Louis is almost bouncing off the couch, proud of himself for catching Harry’s interest with his idea.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but-Louis’ idea sounds pretty cool.” Liam admits. Harry is no longer listening to anything they’re saying though. He’s immersed in his own thoughts as his mind begins to throw ideas around. He has four days, four days to show Niall how much he means to him. And to give him the best Christmas of his life.

“Where are you heading off to now?” Louis asks as he watches Harry leap out of his chair in search of his coat and car keys.

“I’ve got to start planning. I’ve only got four days until the big one,” and with that he’s out.

X

“I’m fuckin’ knackered.” Niall whines as he undoes the buttons and zipper on his coat and lets it fall and then proceeds to letting himself fall back on his bed.

“Yeah shopping for a good five hours will do that to you.” Harry says fondly. He smiles down at Niall before taking his coat off as well and lying next to him. Niall immediately brings Harry in close to his side, only to retract back when Harry’s cold nose makes contact with his neck.

“Jesus, how has your nose not fallen off yet?” Niall jokes. Harry only responds by nuzzling his face closer to Niall’s neck and laying cold wet kisses on the warmth of his skin. Niall squirms away from him, and normally Harry would be hurt but then Niall is pulling him in by his waist and kissing him on his lips. Harry’s body responds quickly by wrapping his arms around Niall and bringing him even closer. Both of their lips are cold and chapped and Harry thinks that maybe if they kiss long enough they’ll both be warm and pliant again.

Harry’s hands move up under the material of Niall’s shirt and Niall winces and pulls back a little.

“You’re fuckin’ freezing Haz.” He says in a whisper before going in for another fast kiss on Harry’s lips.

“I’m not the one who waited until last minute to get everyone gifts and dragged their boyfriend with them.” Harry smirks, not pulling his hands back from Niall’s warm skin until they’re warm too.

Niall’s blue eyes watch him thoughtfully before saying, “I didn’t leave everyone’s gift until last minute.”

Harry raises his eyebrows in interest, “Oh really? Who were the lucky souls who managed to make it on Niall Horan’s gift priority list?”

“Just the really important ones. Me parents, Theo and Louis.” Harry waits expectantly for Niall to say or hint that he’s on that list as well, because Louis is on it so-he has to be as well right?

“Forgetting anyone else?” Harry plays along. Niall’s brow furrows for a while in concentration, and this is probably one of Harry’s favorite looks on Niall. He always looks the cutest when he’s deep in thought or concentrating hard on something. It’s probably why they could never get any studying done in the same room. Harry could never contain himself from attacking Niall in kisses and pleading for him to put a pause on all the studying so they could have some fun.

“Oh right!” Niall finally says, “I bought Zayn some art stuff online too.” Niall leans over to drop a quick kiss on the corner of Harry’s lips before he untangles himself from the younger man and makes his way towards the kitchen. “I’m making hot cocoa. Want some?”

Harry watches Niall’s retreating back with a small pout, because maybe Niall did forget about Harry’s present after all. Not that it matters, because spending Christmas with Niall…just Niall, is a gift on its own.

Harry is still lost in his own thoughts when Niall pops his head back into the room, “I also might have gotten a certain curly haired lad’s gift as well.” He shrugs. Harry gets up and makes his way towards Niall with a wide grin.

“Good. What’s the point of having a boyfriend on Christmas if you get no presents out of it.” Harry teases. Niall snorts.

“Honestly Harry, you’re an idiot.”

“But I’m _your_ idiot.”

“Yeah.” Niall replies quietly, getting this distant look in his eyes and Harry knows. He Knows Niall is thinking about the after, after Christmas and New Year’s when Harry is due to take his flight to LA. For once only needing a one way ticket and not a round trip like the previous years he’s gone.

Harry doesn’t want Niall to think about the after yet though, he wants to get Niall’s mind off of it and have him smiling again.

“How about you go make the hot cocoa, and I put on _Love, Actually_ and we cuddle on your couch with lots of pillows and sheets.” Harry offers. The corners of Niall’s lips lift up into a small smile.

“Yeah okay. Does it have to be _Love, Actually_ though?”

Harry pretend gasps, “You offend me Niall, and of course it has to be Love, Actually. It’s the perfect time of year for it.”

Niall doesn’t try to argue with Harry’s logic as he makes his way to the kitchen all the while shaking his head fondly.

X

“You guys should really consider putting a sock on the door next time, or I don’t know, maybe try making it to a room.” Niall points out as he watches Zayn and Liam quickly dress, both of them with flushed red cheeks of embarrassment. It’s not the first time Niall catches them in the act though. He shares the flat with Liam, and it’s safe to say with Zayn now as well considering the fact that he never really ever leaves. He’s lucky they were still not in a compromising position this time around though.

Niall drops the box of pizza he had picked up after his shift at the record shop on the kitchen counter and grabs himself a slice.

“Oh you brought dinner, nice!” Liam says.

“Yeah figured you two wouldn’t have anything waiting for me.” Niall replies.

“Oh hey, we totally would have made dinner if we knew you’d be coming home. We just figured you’d make your way to Harry’s place after work instead.”

“Yeah? Is that why you two decided to have a go on my couch.” Niall directs that statement towards Zayn with a raised eyebrow since he’s the one that still seems to be the most embarrassed at being caught.

Liam directs the attention away from a still blushing Zayn by asking Niall, “So why aren’t you at Harry’s?”

Niall shrugs and proceeds to take the whole box of pizza to the living area and offers some to Zayn, because he feels a little bad for giving him a hard time.

Niall catches how Liam and Zayn share a look after.

“You’ve been taking this whole thing with Harry awfully well Nialler, we’re proud of you mate.” Zayn finally speaks up and he wraps an arm around Niall’s shoulders and brings him in. Niall stiffens up in his arms.

“Yeah well, wouldn’t change anything if I holed myself in my room crying over it would it?” Niall is no longer eating his slice of pizza, instead opting to pick at the peperoni slices and flicking them onto the cardboard the box is in. The tone in Niall’s voice makes both Liam and Zayn feel uneasy

Liam watches him thoughtfully no longer liking the way Niall’s face goes expressionless. He can see it though, in his eyes, as cliché as it sounds, he sees the storm of emotions brewing beneath them. Like the blond has managed to build a dam to keep his feelings at bay.

Zayn probably senses the same thing because when he speaks next, he gets this gentle tone in his voice that he uses when he’s comforting someone, “Babe it’s okay to cry over it. We wouldn’t blame you if you did. Just don’t hold in your feelings like that. That’s not very healthy.”

“I’m-I’m not.” Niall’s voice shakes, and he’s suddenly shrugging off Zayn’s arm from his shoulders. He’s feeling smothered now by both of them. Like they’re closing in on him, and it might just be the worst kind of claustrophobic he's felt. He knows he’s being a brat and that they’re just trying to help him because they’re his best friends, but he never asked for their help. He’ll get through it and it helps if he isn’t constantly reminded that he should feel sad that Harry is leaving in a month.

“I’m not really hungry anymore.” He finally says, not meeting either of their eyes because he doesn’t want to feel like a bigger jerk than he already feels.

“Okay.” Comes Liam’s short reply. Niall nods and stands on shaky knees as he begins to make his way to his room.

Once Niall is in the safety of his room he realizes how cold it feels. It’s become an unfamiliar space to him in the past year because he’s rarely spent anytime actually sleeping in it.

He’d always end up in Harry’s room sleeping besides him.

And that’s what causes it. The thought that he’d have to accustom himself to sleeping on his own bed—alone.

The dam breaks and he’s suddenly crying. All those feelings he’s been trying so hard to push back come out in strong waves. He’s hurting, and he’s sad but he’s also very frustrated with himself.

He flops face first onto his bed and uses his pillow to muffle the sounds of his crying. Niall rarely cries. All these feelings are so new to him.

He misses Harry already, and he can only imagine how much he’ll miss him once he’s actually gone.

Niall finally let’s himself be mad.

He’s mad at Harry because not once did he ever ask him to move to LA with him.

X

_Christmas Day_

It’s the perfect morning, Harry thinks as he watches the falling of snow outside the window and then shifts his eyes to watch a sleeping Niall. The blonde’s hair looks messy and fluffy and he’s lightly snoring. There are faint red lines on his shoulder blades from where the folds of the sheets had pressed on his skin in the night and Harry has to hold back from tracing them with the tips of his fingers.

It’s 8am as he slowly gets out of bed. Making sure not to stir Niall awake. He needs Niall to remain sleeping for his plan to work.

As soon as the soles of Harry’s feet touch the cold tile in the kitchen he regrets not having worn socks. He can almost hear his mother’s disapproval as she tells him that he’s going to get sick if he keeps that up.

He pulls his hair back into a small bun and ties it with one of his wrists bands before he begins to get to work.

When he’s finally done with everything he takes a step back to admire his work. It truly is an art, cooking that is.

He’s managed to make some of Niall’s favorite breakfast foods, and has piled them onto a tray for him. It’s all very romantic if Harry’s being honest.

He decides he should probably take the tray back to the room before it gets cold and before Niall wakes up and finds him admiring a tray of food, but before he does he takes out the small white envelope he had prepared days ago and sets it neatly on the tray next to the plate of pancakes.

X

The first thing Niall notices when he wakes up is how cold he is. He doesn’t have Harry’s warm body pressed to his like he had remembered falling asleep the previous night. He sits up and rubs his eyes with the back of his hands to try and adjust them to the light.

It’s 9:34am and Harry is nowhere in sight. Niall begins to panic a little as he wonders if maybe he’s having a nightmare again. The ones in which he wakes up alone only to find out that Harry has left to LA without saying his goodbyes. They’ve been recurring ones so he wouldn’t be surprised if he was still dreaming.

His eyes finally notice the tray of food neatly placed on the side table. The sight makes him smile and his heart begins to flutter in that weird way that only thoughts of Harry can cause.

He stretches over to see the food. His stomach grumbles at the sight of the still warm pancakes and bacon. He digs into the food but continues to wonder where Harry has gone off too. It isn’t until he’s almost done with everything that he notices the envelope.

His name is written on the front of it in Harry’s neat handwriting. He picks it up and with furrowed brows begins to open it.

_Ni,_

_Like I promised I plan to make this Christmas an unforgettable one for both you and I. So what I’ve planned for you is a small retrace of, in my opinion, some of the best memories we’ve shared together._

_I hope you enjoyed your breakfast, sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. Here’s your first clue though._

_We had our first date here. And it was amazing._

_Meet you there at 11am._

_Merry Christmas baby!_

_Love, H xx_

Niall can’t contain the big smile he gets when he finishes reading the note. Harry’s such a romantic sap. If he was here with him he’d probably tease him over it, even though deep down Niall loves it.

It only takes him a minute to get out of bed and find some of his clothes around Harry’s room. He laces up his shoes and steals one of Harry’s beanies.

He knows exactly what place Harry is referring to. How could he ever forget it? Their first date was also one of Niall’s best memories.

X

Niall stops at the entrance of the ice rink. Stopping to admire it and reminisce back to a year and three months ago when Niall had been stood in this exact spot waiting for Harry, expect he didn’t know he was waiting for Harry at that time.

It had been a double date with Liam and Zayn. After the many years of just being friends they had finally accepted the fact that what they felt for each other was more than friendly. It had been nothing but pinning on both parts and their friends had been tired of watching them steal secret glances at one another.

So Zayn and Liam convinced Niall to join them on what would be Niall’s first blind date. They had said the same to Harry.

It had come as a surprise to both of them—except not really because their friends were idiots—to see each other there. Both waiting on their “date”.

Niall smiles a little and shakes his head as he remembers how even then Harry had managed to steal his breath when he had stepped out of the car behind Zayn. Looking so lovely and handsome.

“Are you coming inside? Or were you going to keep standing there, smiling like an idiot.” Harry’s voice startles Niall and he’s now brought back to the present. He’s met with Harry’s smiling face, dimples on full display as he looks Niall over.

“Weren’t you supposed to be waiting inside? I was going to make a proper entrance and all.” Niall says. Harry laughs quietly and takes Niall’s hand in his holding on tightly as they enter.

“Well now we can make an entrance together love.”

Niall can’t help but scoff and give a small eye roll.

“Besides, I was getting impatient. I had to see you.” Harry leans in to whisper. Even though no one’s really paying attention to them.

“How did I end up with such a sap as a boyfriend?” Niall says as he gently pinches Harry’s side.

“You must have been really good in your past life to deserve someone like me.” Harry smirks and Niall can’t help but think, yeah he must have.

Niall’s eyes widen once he catches sight of the rink. It’s been decked out with Christmas lights and decorations. There’s Christmas classics playing in the background. It definitely feels like Christmas here.

“Come on, let’s go get some skates.” Harry says taking Niall’s hand in his and leading him out.

X

“You good babe?” Harry’s face comes looming over Niall as he lays on his back after a hard— and embarrassing—fall. Niall mumbles curse words under his breath as Harry helps him get back on his feet.

“I shouldn’t have let you tie my skates for me. You probably made it so that I’d be shit at skating.” Niall doesn’t let go of Harry’s hands this time. Too afraid of falling on his arse again.

Harry gives him a small pout, “I would never intentionally do something that get you hurt Nialler.”

“All I know Haz is that last time we came here you were the one falling on your bum not me.” Niall thinks back fondly to their first date here when Harry was all failing limbs and blushing cheeks as he kept falling over each time he so much as attempted to glide on the ice.

“I was nervous back then. I’m much more confident now.” Harry proves his point by holding on to Niall’s hands and skating backwards, pulling the blonde with him.

Harry doesn’t let go of Niall’s hands after that, and Niall no longer falls.

X

The next clue is waiting for him at the front where you go to give the skates back. The girl behind the desk asks if he’s Niall. Niall nods nervously and she hands him another small envelope.

When he walks back to where Harry is waiting for him by the door he holds the small envelope up with a wide grin. “Can't you just tell me where we’re going next?”

“And what fun would that be?” Harry says. Niall gives him a small eye roll before opening the envelope.

_Favorite memory to date is when I finally told you “I love you”. And you said “I love you” back._

_-Harry xx_

Harry is watching Niall as he reads the note, barley being able to contain his smile.

“The park in the town square.” Niall says quietly small smile playing on his lips as he remembers the day so clearly. Like it had been days rather than months ago.

Harry doesn’t say anything as he takes Niall’s hand and leans in quick to peck him on the lips.

It’s 1 in the afternoon when they finally make it to the park. There had been so much traffic on their way over. Everyone rushing to get to wherever they had to be before Christmas night.

The park is covered in a blanket of snow and it makes it look lovelier than Niall remembers it. The town Christmas tree that’s in the center of it looms over both of them tall and glowing. Niall can only imagine how much more breathe taking it looks in the night where the lights get a chance to shine even brighter. The tree brings a festive warmth to his heart, the same feeling he use to get as a kid whenever he woke up to find presents under the tree.

Harry turns to look at him and Niall looks back fighting down a smile as he tries to hold Harry’s gaze. Harry leans in and kisses him with a force that takes the air in Niall’s lungs away. Niall responds by touching his palm to Harry’s cold cheek and traces his thumb along the cut of Harry’s cheekbone. He’s trembling but he thinks it has more to do with Harry’s lips touching his than with the cold weather. They continue to kiss until it feels like they’ve been standing there in front of that tree for hours, before they finally part.

“We should probably stop before I forget the rest of our plans and take you back home.” Harry says.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” Niall responds with a smirk. Niall almost falls back when he feels the cold snow hitting his cheek. “What the fuck Harry!”

Harry doesn’t even try to hide his laugh, he’s practically wheezing with it. He stops shortly after seeing Niall pick up some snow and he begins to roll it into a small ball.

They run around the park hitting each other like they’re both sixteen again and not a pair of twenty four year old men.

When they both get tired of chasing each other around like idiots, Harry falls back onto the snow and Niall groans.

“Harry no.”

“Aw come on babe, let’s make snow angels.” Harry looks up at him with big green eyes. Pleading Niall to join him. Niall groans again as he lays next to Harry and they both move their arms and legs in sync. It’s an unpleasant feeling and a little embarrassing if Niall’s being honest, there are still people going about watching them.

Harry helps Niall up gently as to not ruin their snow angels. Niall laughs when he sees their finished work. They were too close to each other so the middle wings look like one huge connected one. Harry doesn’t seem to mind though as he snaps a picture and Instagrams it.

Harry offers to buy Niall hot chocolate when Niall complains about the wetness of his whole back and bum. “You can’t get frostbite on your bum.” Harry explains.

They walk hand in hand down the streets and find a Starbucks that’s still open even on Christmas. Harry orders their drinks and they sit in the warm place as they try to regain the feeling on their fingers and toes.

Niall sips on his drink even though it burns his tongue and feels Harry’s heavy gaze on him.

“What?” Niall asks self cautiously, “what are you staring at?”

“Can’t I admire my boyfriend? I’m sorry, am I not allowed to do that?”

“No.” Niall says, but the smile and blush that break over his face let’s Harry know he’s joking.

“It’s just, you look so lovely. Your nose has gone red. Sort of like Rudolf. It’s cute.”

Niall exaggerates a gag, “Harry please tone it down with the sappiness.” But he can already feel the blood that rushes to his cheeks at Harry’s compliments. If being called a red nosed reindeer is a compliment that is. It probably is to Harry.

“So tell me, where are we going next?” Niall says after he’s halfway finished with his drink. Harry smirks and turns Niall’s cup around. Niall raises an eyebrow in interest but he’s also really impressed with Harry’s creativity. “How in the hell did I miss that?”

“Maybe you were too distracted by the sight in front of you.” Harry says cheekily. Niall scoffs and nudges his foot against Harry’s under the table.

“Right.” He says before focusing on the writing.

_We made it official at this place and became NiallandHarry. And you were mine and I was yours. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way._

_-Harry xx_

“The pub next to Zayn’s place!” Niall exclaims. Proud for haven gotten all of them right so far, but how could he not?

X

Niall and Harry are greeted by a “Merry Christmas!” by the bar tender and the waitresses. It’s actually pretty full considering it’s a holiday and all. There are couples laughing and drinking. Groups of friends eating and drinking at their tables. Tinsel and garland decorating the surrounding walls. And it all looks festive as fuck.

Niall notices the mic stand on the makeshift stage on the left wall of the pub. Someone is up there tuning their guitar, the guy looks familiar is all Niall can think as he tries to place a name to him.

Harry orders them some pints and they stay standing close to the bar with a good view of the stage.

“So do you remember how the first time we came here, they had a live band playing?” Harry begins to say and it’s like something in Niall’s brain clicks and now he knows why the guy up there looked so familiar. He had been singing when the thing between Niall and Harry became more than just shagging and more about spending time together and meeting each other’s parents and holding hands and everything nice and good about being in a relationship.

“No, Harry did you?”

“It took me weeks to find his contact info but it wasn’t impossible.”

Niall stares back to the stage in awe, because he can’t believe that yet again it’s like Harry’s taken him time traveling to relive the most important milestones of their relationship.

 _“We watched the season pull up its own stakes and catch the last weekend of the last week…”_ The guy on the stage begins to sing and Niall’s at a loss for words as he silently watches.

 _“You have stolen my heart…_ ”

Harry pulls Niall in against his side as they both stand side by side watching what feels like their own personal concert, beers long forgotten on the bar table.

The song ends and the singer gives Harry and Niall a thumbs up as everyone in the room begins to clap and shout out song names for him to play next.

Niall tunes out the crowd after that and turns to look at Harry, “fuck, Haz that was amazing! I have no idea how I’ll ever top that Christmas present.”

“Oh that wasn’t your present. That was just a small part of our best Christmas together.”

Niall doesn’t know how to respond to that, instead he wants to garb Harry’s stupid face in his hands and kiss him until both of them lose all feeling on their lips.

“Let’s go find a table. Liam and Zayn and some of the others are meeting us here for lunch.”

X

Its dark outside by the time Harry and Niall make it out of the pub. They had spent hours in there catching up with all of their friends.

Of course most of them had brought up California. They’d ask Harry when he was leaving. And it made a lump form in Niall’s throat, he had been doing such a good job forgetting the fact that this would be his last Christmas with Harry.

When they announced they were heading home most of them had hugged Harry for a minute longer than they hugged Niall. Each of them wishing him good luck on his next step in life. It was like a punch in Niall’s chest that phrase “next step in life.”

They hailed a cab and sat side by side watching the snow fall outside the windows.

“So you can probably already guess where we’re headed next.” Harry says softly.

“Could it be my place or maybe yours?” Niall really wishes it’s either of those choices because his knee is killing him from all the walking he’s had to do today.

“Yeah mine. Um, Liam and Zayn ordered us some food and set up the whole place proper nice for us.” Harry explains. “At my request of course.”

“Sounds nice Haz, can’t wait.” Niall says in a sleepy voice. He didn’t realize how tired he actually was.

“You can close your eyes for a bit. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” Harry is still speaking in that soft voice and it almost lulls Niall to sleep. He lays his head on Harry’s broad shoulder and his eyes close easily.

X

“Ni, we’re home.” Harry nudges his shoulder causing Niall’s head to shake and he stirs awake and takes in his surroundings. Of course by home, Harry had meant his flat.

Harry helps Niall up the stairs—the bloody elevator chooses to stop working now when Niall’s knees are acting up—and when they reach his door he makes a grand gesture of looking for his key and swinging the door wide open.

There’s a surprising amount of Christmas decorations hung everywhere, a familiar theme today. The fireplace is lit for the first time since Harry and Louis bought the place and when they walk into the dining room the table has been set elegantly like the type of Christmas dinner Niall had been forced to go to as a kid. There are different types of food spread out on the table and then there’s the sound of “All I Want for Christmas,” playing in the background.

“What do you think?” Harry’s voice says behind him.

“I think I have the best boyfriend in the world.” Niall wants to go for teasing, but the words come out more sentimental and softer then he had intended them too. The truth is he feels like he’s choking with so many feelings right now.

He’s going to miss Harry so much.

“Aw I can’t take all the credit. Zayn and Liam were the ones who made it all look like this.”

Niall turns around so that he’s now facing Harry. He lays both of his palms on Harry’s chest and Harry places his own on top of Niall’s hands.

“No I mean everything Harry. This whole day was perfect. Thank you.” And fuck, Niall feels like he’s going to tear up at any second now.

“I promised you a prefect Christmas together.” Harry says.

“And it was, but if I’m being honest. We could have spent the whole day here in bed together or watching the telly and it still be the best Christmas.” Niall’s voice is heavy with emotion and he hopes Harry will ignore the tremble at the end of his words. Harry strokes the blonde’s cheek with his thumb softly and so, so intimate.

“Now who’s the sap?” Harry smiles.

“Shut up.” Niall says before leaning in to kiss him. There’s mistletoe hung everywhere, so maybe this won’t be the last kiss of the night Niall thinks.

X

Niall’s laid down next to the fire place with a full stomach, and glad that they changed into some sweat pants and the ugly Christmas sweaters Louis had gotten for them, because Niall thinks the button of his skinny jeans would not have stayed buttoned after the amount of food he had stuffed himself with.

Harry had laid out soft sheets and load of pillows out for them, and Niall sort of hopes they end up sleeping here until the fire in the fire place burns out and they have nothing but each other to keep themselves warm.

“Is it present time yet?” Niall asks Harry, not being able to stop himself from leaning in and kissing the spot under his chin, just because he can.

“Yeah, whatever you want Ni.” Harry says softly. Niall stretches his whole body until he can reach the messily wrapped gift he had gotten Harry. He lays it on Harry’s lap, already feeling the blush spreading on his face as Harry looks at him in a way that makes his chest tighten and the pit of his stomach feel like it does before the big fall in a roller-coaster ride.

Harry takes his time unwrapping the paper like it means something. And maybe it does Niall thinks, it’s their last Christmas together, and knowing Harry he might want to pin it to his wall or save it in between one of his books. Like a reminder of what once was.

Niall swallows the lump of emotion down once more. Not tonight, he thinks. He’s already cried once. Not in front of Harry, Niall keeps chanting to himself.

“Niall, I love it.” Harry says as he traces his initials, H.S imbedded in the brown leather of the journal Niall had gotten for him.

“You told me you needed a new one so…”

“You do listen!” Harry exclaims. Niall pushes at his shoulder playfully.

“Yeah once in a while.” He jokes back.

“It’s perfect Niall. Thank you.” They lean in for a quick kiss before Harry is jumping up to his feet in excitement to go get Niall’s gift. Niall almost falling on his face from going after Harry’s lips.

“I couldn’t wrap your present so you have to close your eyes.” Harry orders. Niall is ready to protest but the look Harry gives him makes him sigh and place his hands over his eyes.

He hears Harry’s heavy footsteps walking towards the rooms and padding around. He’s back a minute later from what Niall can hear.

Niall feel’s Harry’s presence as he comes to sit in front of Niall.

“Okay you can open them now.”

The guitar Niall had been eyeing for the past four months in the guitar store on his way to work is sitting on Harry’s lap with a big red bow stuck on the neck of it. And if Harry holding the sleek instrument of Niall’s dreams isn’t the most beautiful sight, than Niall doesn’t know what is.

“Holy shit. Jesus, Haz…” Is all Niall can mumble?

“Merry Christmas Ni.” Harry grins wide and happy. Niall takes the guitar in his hands holding it carefully like a newborn baby. Niall strums out some chords, smile breaking over his face because, yeah it sounds exactly like he had pictured it would.

“Best present from my best boy on the best day.” Niall laughs. He pauses his strumming to look at Harry, “but you didn’t have to spend this much on me Haz.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve never seen you this happy. It was all worth it.” Harry says reaching out to place a comforting hand on Niall’s cheek, Niall leans into the touch and lays a small kiss on the palm of his hand.

“Thanks babe, love you.”

“I love you too Ni….so much.”

And Niall has to stop playing with his gift when he hears the crack in Harry’s voice. He set’s it aside gently and reaches for Harry. Harry doesn’t move from his spot though and ignores Niall’s hand reaching out to him.

“I just need to get this off my chest before I back out, okay?” Harry says searching in Niall’s eyes for something. Niall’s not sure what Harry’s going on about but he nods. Harry clears his throat before reaching in the pocket of his sweats.

“I um, I got you something else.” He hands Niall a white envelope, so alike the others he’s received today that he wonders if Harry’s taking him somewhere else.

There’s a note so Niall reaches for that first.

_Dear Niall,_

_We’ve made so many beautiful memories here in London, let’s make some more in California._

_Love, Harry xx_

Niall’s hands are shaking as he reads the note. Reading it twice, three times and a fourth. He takes out the plane ticket in the envelope.

A plane ticket for Niall, to LA.

He feels like his voice has been stolen from his throat. He’s aware of Harry watching him, waiting. Both of their hearts beating louder and louder by the minute.

There are a million thoughts going through Niall’s head right now. A part of him wants to say yes. He’d go to the end of the world with Harry if he had too. But then there’s the rational part that tells him to slow down and think this over. Niall doesn’t know which one to listen to.

Niall continues looking down at the plane ticket in his hands. A plane ticket Harry bought for him to LA. To fucking California.

Out of all the things Niall wants to say to Harry. There’s only one sentence that ends up being said, “Can I think about it?”

Harry’s face falls slightly. A look of hurt flashing in the green of his eyes before it’s gone. He nods.

“Yeah Ni, of course. Take your time.” And Niall hates how small Harry’s voice sounds, he feels like the worst person on this planet and he wants nothing more than to make Harry smile like had been just moments ago. But that would mean he’d have to say yes to Harry’s proposal, and he’s just not ready to do so.

Niall’s heart really wants to punch his brain right now, is the best way he can put how conflicted he’s feeling.

“But maybe not so much time. I need an answer before January 4th.”

Niall nods, the ticket feeling like it weights a ton in his hands. The date is looming so close.

Harry excuses himself to the restroom after that and Niall watches him go with a sad expression. He’s hurt Harry he knows, but Niall knows he’d hurt him more by making a rash decision and regretting it later when he’s in LA with Harry.

X

Harry excuses himself to the restroom, and can feel Niall’s gaze on his retreating back.

He shuts himself in the bathroom and leans his hands on the sink counter, as he tries to take in even breaths. In and out.

He uses the base of his palms to push against his eyes and stop the onslaught of tears that are threatening to fall.

He feels like an idiot, how could he of expected Niall to just pack up and leave his life behind for Harry? They weren’t a pair of reckless teenagers anymore. They were adults who had to think of their futures and what was best for them.

He probably feels so hurt because he remembers how happy he had been when he came up with the idea. He knew he loves Niall and wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life beside him. He had even asked Louis if he thought it be a good idea. Louis had been wary at first, but eventually he had been on the same page as Harry. Telling him how Niall looked at Harry like he was the best thing on this world. It had given Harry the fuel he needed to buy that plane ticket for Niall.

Harry almost wants to text Louis that he had been wrong, but he knows he only wants to do it because he wants someone to blame for his horrible decision.

But Niall hadn’t said no, he’d said he’s think about it. Harry thinks. A part of Harry wants to believe that Niall meant it and was still open to the idea. Another part was telling Harry that he had just said it to be nice and not crush Harry’s heart on Christmas.

And maybe the saddest part of it all was that when Harry had bought the ticket, Louis asked him what he’d do if the roles were reversed. If Niall had been the one to ask him to move to LA or Ireland with him.

Harry was quick to reply with, “I’d follow Niall anywhere.”

X

The closer January 4th loomed over them, the more distant Harry seemed to be from Niall. They still hung out of course, but not as much as they had before the holidays when they never left each other sides. It was eating at Niall’s heart to know he had caused it.

“So what’s up with you and Harry?” Liam asks one night, when yet again Niall was coming home to sleep on his bed instead of with Harry.

“Um what do you mean?” Niall decides to play dumb as he messes about on his phone to try and show Liam that he doesn’t really want to talk about it. Liam of course doesn’t get the hint.

“Niall. You know exactly what I’m on about. It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me, but don’t act like I’m not aware of how down you’ve looked this past week.” Liam says.

Niall sighs and places his phone down to give Liam his full attention. He has been feeling like shit the past week and he knows his friends would catch on eventually. He wonders if maybe Louis has asked Harry the same question.

“Hey Ni, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. Sorry if I pressured you.” Liam’s voice has gone soft and comforting as he places a hand on Niall’s shoulder. Niall hadn’t realized he had started crying.

“He asked me to go with him. To LA, bought me a ticket and everything.” Niall finally says, using the front of his shirt to wipe his face.

“That’s great Ni.”

“I told him I’d think about it.” Niall hangs his head low in shame, it sounds even worse when he says it out loud. “He made Christmas day so special, and even bought me the guitar I’ve been eyeing for forever and I go and fucking break his heart all on the same day.” Niall spits out.

Liam’s grip on his shoulder gets stronger, and it’s then that Niall realizes how much he’s shaking. Liam’s trying to hold him in place—keep him grounded.

“Niall, mate. It’s a big decision to make. I think you did the right thing. In the end you have to think of what’s best for you. Harry will understand.”

“I mean I have nothing else planned after Uni. Like it should be easy to say yes, but something keeps stopping me from doing so. I just need to figure out what I want to do, where I’m going from here, you know?” Niall doesn’t even understand what he just said, so he doubts Liam does too. Liam nods regardless.

“Yeah I get it. You can’t base off your future off of Harry’s. It has to be all you.” Okay so maybe Liam does understand. He seems to have worded it better than Niall himself.

They’re both silent after that. Not knowing what else to say and Niall is still deep in thought. He feels like this has been the only thing on his mind for the past week. Even on New Year’s he couldn’t quite ring in the New Year on a happy note, not when he felt like this. So fucking confused and conflicted. He stays up nights just turning the ticket over in his hands. Wishing he’d get some sign from somewhere on what he should do.

Niall groans and let’s his head fall in his hands.

“You’ll figure it out Nialler.” Liam’s calm voice says as he rubs Niall’s back in gentle strokes.

He hopes he can figure it out before January 4th.

X

It’s January 3rd and Niall hasn’t come out of his room. Not even when Zayn comes over with Chinese takeout. Niall still has no fucking clue what he’s going to do. It’s a day before Harry’s set to fly out and he has two missed calls in his phone. One from Harry and one from Louis. He’s not sure which one scares him the most.

The clock next to his nightstand says it’s now 9pm. Niall closes his eyes and turns the other way, maybe if he doesn’t look at the time it won’t go by so fast.

Niall can hear the sound of knocking on the front door and then a, “where is he!” He knows that voice all too well and he groans at the realization of who it is.

“Fuck.” Niall can’t help but say.

“Horan!” Louis pounds his fist on his room door and doesn’t let up even when Zayn tries to tell him to leave Niall alone.

“You’re not going to get rid of me anytime soon Niall, so I suggest you open the door or I’ll keep knocking.”

Niall faintly hears how Liam’s trying to tell him not to be too loud or the neighbors will complain again. And that’s what gets Niall to come out from under the shield of cover’s he’s been in for the day. It’s not fair to either Liam or Zayn that they have to deal with Louis because of his fault.

“Okay I’m coming, I’m coming.” Niall says weakly. Not sure if they heard him but Louis stops knocking so maybe he did.

He opens the door to find all three boys standing outside of it. He thinks Liam and Zayn are there more for his protection and Louis is probably there to strangle him.

“What do you want Lou?”

“What do I want? What do I want!?” He scoffs. “I know what I want Niall, question here is what the fuck you want.”

“Hey calm down.” Liam says coming to Niall’s defense.

“Have you seen Harry recently Liam?” Louis snaps.

“No but-“

“Then please leave, this is between Niall and me.” Louis pushes past them into Niall’s room and closes the door on both Zayn and Liam’s faces. Louis can be a right prick when he wants to be.

“Just yell if he hurts you Ni!” Zayn shouts through the door. Louis rolls his eyes. Still standing by the closed door with his hands crossed in front of him.

“I’m not here to hurt you Niall. You’re my friend too. Just like Harry is my friend. And I happen to be very fond of both of you two. Which is why I’m here.” Louis moves away from the door to sit on Niall’s bed. Niall still doesn’t trust him though and remains standing where he is. Louis shrugs and continues.

“Harry told me, about what he asked you. He’d been moping all week so I had to pry if off of him. I figured it might have been because he was sad to leave, but then you stopped coming by and I figured it was something deeper than that.”

“What else did he tell you?”

“That you told him you’d think about it.” Louis answers. Niall nods.

“And I have been thinking about it. So much so that’s it been the only thing on my mind these past days.” Niall says walking around his room to pick up the plane ticket. “I don’t know what to do Louis.”

“Do what makes you happy.” Is Louis simple response. It sounds so easy, but Niall knows it isn’t.

“It’s not that easy Lou-“

“It is! You have to stop over thinking everything. You love Harry and I’m more than certain it’s the other way around as well. It’s a beautiful thing, what you and Harry have. Fuck, I hope that one day I can have someone look at me like I see Harry look at you.” Louis says. Niall can’t help the small smile that breaks over his lips when Louis says that. Because, wow, Louis of all people would never say that unless he really meant it.

“Thanks Lou.” Niall says, finally siting down beside him. Louis wraps an arm around Niall.

“As we speak Harry is packing up a suitcase right now. His flight leaves at eight in the morning tomorrow.”

Niall nods. He knew this already.

“I’m not forcing you to take that plane tomorrow Niall. But he does deserve a proper goodbye.”

X

It’s dumb, Harry knows, but that doesn’t stop him from waiting by the gate. His plane is due to fly out in twenty minutes. Most of the passengers are boarding the plane now, but Harry isn’t paying attention to who’s getting on it. He’s looking the opposite way.

Like some rom-com movie he’s hoping Niall will burst through those double doors to give Harry a proper goodbye scene. Or better yet to tell him that he’d be coming to LA with him. It’s dumb, he knows, but he continues to wait.

“Sir, the gate is closing in fifteen minutes.” One of the flight attendants tells him.

“Yeah, I’m just-“

“Waiting for someone?” she gives him a sad smile. Harry doesn’t reply, just continues to look at the doors. The flight attendant leaves Harry alone, and boards the plane.

Harry takes his phone out once more and dials Niall’s number. It goes to voicemail like the past eleven times Harry’s called. He decides to leave a voicemail this time.

“Hey Ni, I was just calling to let you know I’m about to board.” Harry clears his throat hoping it’ll help stop the tremble in his voice. “Just wanted to say that I love you. And I’m sorry….”

“Sorry for what?” A deep voice asks.

“Niall.” Harry turns to face Niall. Wonders how he had gotten in without him noticing. Harry doesn’t want to ask questions now though, he opts for throwing himself at Niall and hugging him tightly. Niall hugs him back equally as hard.

“You gave me the perfect Christmas, so I'm here to give you your perfect romantic airport scene” Niall says once they let go of each other. He lifts his hand up and wipes some of the tears that have escaped Harry’s eyes and have made their way down his cheeks. Harry’s throat feels tight with emotion and he’s about to burst with it. He can’t believe Niall came. He notices the bag he’s carrying, which could only mean one thing.

“Let me hear it.” Harry’s voice comes out raspy and rough with the amount of emotion building up inside him the last hours.

Niall nods, and takes in a deep breath before letting it out.

“I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, and at first that scared the shit out of me Haz. Especially when you and the others were so certain already. I felt like such a fucking loser. Like everyone was going to move on and I’d have to stay back and figure out what to do with myself. I thought that maybe if I just stayed home something would come eventually. Apparently that’s not how it works though, you can’t just sit around and hope your life resolves itself-“Niall pauses, brows furrowed in concentration. He takes both of Harry’s hands in his. Harry notices the flight attendant from before steeping out, probably to tell Harry he’ll miss his flight if he doesn’t get on. She stops however when she notices Niall. The smile on her face is so big, Harry wonders how they must look to others watching the scene unfold.

“I still have a lot to figure out Harry, but there is one thing I’m sure of—us. Someone told me to just do what makes me happy. And I don’t think anything would make me happier than to figure out the rest of my life next to you Harry.” Niall’s blue eyes look up at Harry, he’s a blushing mess. Harry can no longer contain himself as he brings Niall in for a deep kiss—the perfect ending to their romantic airport scene.

Harry’s heart is beating loudly against his chest like it’s about to burst out at any moment. He doesn’t think he’s ever loved someone as much as he loves Niall. And he’s thrilled that Niall loves him back and is willing to move out to another country with him.

“How’d I do?” Niall says in a quiet voice once they stop kissing, but they’re still so close Harry can still feel the brush of Niall’s lips against his as he talks.

“It was perfect, Ni.”

“Good. I’ve watched so many rom-coms with you, it be a tragedy if it was anything but perfect.” Niall teases with a wide grin.

“See I knew watching all those movies would be useful one day.”

Niall laughs, a carefree and happy laugh that makes sparks travel all through Harry’s body from just listening to it, “Shut up and kiss me again, let’s give these folk a proper end scene.”

“Okay.”


End file.
